Well, Shit!

WEEKEND SUDS FLASHES

PLANNING TO LEAVE AMC: Thorsten Kaye (Zach), Alicia Minshew (Kendall), Ray MacDonald (Joe) and David Canary (Adam/Stuart)

Nelson Branco - The Soapgeist: August 17, 2009

I can't say that I'm surprised about Ray MacDonald. But, even a hint of the other three and heaven help us...

Not quite ready to curl up into a ball of misery, with a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, Seal's Loneliest Star playing in the background, and a stack of Zen clips on DVD paying in heavy rotation.

But it's damn close...

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Ouch!

So it’s not a big deal that “Guiding Light” is ending?

We’ve gotten used to soaps lasting so many years, the death of one takes on all this drama. But “Guiding Light” has been a poor performer for many many years.

Brian Frons, President, Daytime, Disney-ABC Television Group

I honestly don't know what is scarier. Is it that the Wall Street Journal turned to Brian Frons, of all people, to ask about the demise of Guiding Light (a show he hasn't worked for in more than 25 years)? Of was it that cold-hearted response given by the man that oversees the show of my favorite soap couple?

Good grief!

Even as fans of AMC are trying to grapple with their worries over what the future holds for AMC with the revelation of the show's move to LA, what in the hell are they supposed to find reassuring about comments such as this?

While rumors are circulating that several longtime cast members were not very pleased about the move and aren't exactly inclined to relocate, many of us are trying to hold on to hope that our show is not going to be irrevocably changed for the worse. And it ain't exactly reassuring to read such a dispassionate response to the loss of another iconic soap from the man who just assured viewers of AMC that he has the show's long-term best interests at heart.

Many fans have expressed their concern that the powers that be, and Brian Frons, in particular, don't really give a shit about what fans really want to see on their favorite soaps. That concern is rooted in many of the decisions made by those in charge that seem to be counter to the expressed wishes of many long-time, passionate viewers. Loyalty seems to be a one-way street. Unfortunately, this craptastic interview by Mr. Frons seems to give credence for those concerns.

To read the rest of the interview, click here.

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Resigned

I’m resigned.

Since mid-2006 I’ve been hoping and praying for AMC to find some relief and a renewed sense of purpose, which might increase viewership and, by extension, its ratings. I honestly believed that the cure for what most ailed the show would be to remove the keyboard from the undeserving grip of Megan McTavish.

“Just give us a new head writer, “, I thought. That’s all we needed – a new writer and another chance.

Yes, I was frustrated by the direction she had chosen for my couple. I am a selfish viewer and I am not alone. The soap purity police who come taunting that couple or character fans must partake of the entire AMC buffet, and like it, or else we're not a “real” fans of the show can kiss our collective %*@! That is exactly what soap operas are – entertainment buffets. There is supposed to be something on the show for everyone to enjoy. And while it’s nice to appreciate the spread, as a whole, no one expect viewers to squeal in delight over every single item on the line. My favorite dish just happens be be Zach and Kendall and I prefer them hot, spicy, and served side-by-side. ;-) Although I appreciate a occasional side of Drs. David Hayward and Jake Martin - they are not what keeps me coming back for more.

Now, back to Megan – she gave us some good times. Stories were written under her reign that had me captivated with the entire show and cast. However, there came a point where she wrote in a manner which negated not only what she had previously done but that also wrecked the foundation laid years before her tenure. In essence, she completely SUCKED at the end and I, like so many others, wanted her gone. In fact, I was so happy at that first hint of her truly leaving that I sent Brian Frons a big, fat “thank you” email. Well, thanks to The Frons, I have come to regret both thanking him and my initial glee at having McTavish banished from Pine Valley. Because…

The Bears have done more damage to the integrity of my couple than I care to admit. Yes, McT had us in the torture chamber and kept dangling the payoff just out of our reach, but she hadn’t yet crossed the line. There tenure and the havoc they were allowed to wreak, in such a short span of time, is something I don’t care to reexamine too deeply. And while I can be grateful they are now gone, I can’t say that having Charles Pratt on board has comforted me - just the opposite, in fact.

See…the thing is that all of these writers have had one thing in common and it is something I am now resigned to – they do not listen to the fans. Period. They don’t. None of them. Not in any meaningful way, if at all. I realize that the things I complain about that are affecting my couple are the exact same things that other fans are complaining about regarding their favorite characters and couples. The fans are in sync and even if we aren’t rooting for the same players our wants for the team are neither difficult nor unique.

I’ve seen the lists, resolutions, polls and surveys all over the internet and all basically looking for the same things we have been unable to attain since McT left the building. And I am resigned to not getting it from the writers. So, I’m just going to place my faith in the actors to continue to try and bring as much integrity to actions of their characters even when those characters are performing actions contrary to their history. I am just going to have to look deeper at the expressions displayed by the actors to fill in the gaps the writers will continually leave. I am resigned that most actions won’t be explained in any manner that makes sense and that some plot devices will forever dangle out there – unresolved.

In 2009, I am resolved to make peace with the fact that being a “resigned” soap fan is the best I can hope for right now. Because no matter what, I am a “Zendall” fan – first, last…and always! So, my goal is to suck it up and support my couple as passionately as I can. (Yes, that means writing letters, making calls, and sending trinkets to the media and the show. And I'll be blogging about the fans who mock fans who are passionate in this way.)

Here’s to hoping for a better year for Zach & Kendall – and AMC! Cheers!

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So this is Christmas

So. It's Christmastime. Again. But what does that really mean? Crowded shopping malls? Obligatory office parties? Struggling with tree stands and tangled lights and snowflake garland? Sure, all of that. But what else?

For some people it is a lonely time, but for me it's just the opposite. I never feel more crowded than I do at Christmas. Expectations and rituals abound. Presents to wrap. Candy to make. Carols to sing. I go through the motions, but most of the time my heart isn't really in it.

I guess I've just become one of those cynical people all the holiday movies are made for. It's not that I don't love my family. I do. But I see them ALL THE TIME. And yes, maybe they're not as backward or as annoying as the "hollywood" version. But what ever happened to peace on earth? Where is my peace when I've got twenty people in my living room, leaving me nowhere to sit in my own house? Dishes stacked to the ceiling for me to do after they leave. How much family is too much?

And let me tell you, un-decking the halls isn't nearly as much fun as decking them. Which is why the lights always end up in a tangled mess, only to cause frustration for the next year. Same with the snowflake garland and the busted tree stand.

Maybe my problem is that I just can't get over the sadness that I'm feeling because of Kendall's coma ... and now her failing heart. Yes, I'll admit it. The show has started to affect my mood, even when I'm not watching. I've been crying with Zach all weekend because I just want Kendall to wake up! Not for me anymore, I want it for him.

So I'm bummed out, stressed out, broke and utterly out of the Christmas spirit. Bah, humbug!! And then I stumbled across this picture of my precious little nephew, Clayton ...

... and it reminds me of a conversation we had last year. We were talking about God and he innocently asked me who that was. I told him God was Jesus' father. And he immediately asked, "What's his mother's name?" I hesitated for a second, trying to figure out how to explain omnipotence to a four-year-old. In the end, I just said, "We don't really know about Jesus' mother." To which Clayton replied simply, "Mary."

Out of the mouths of babes, indeed.

So there you have it. The true meaning of Christmas, brought home by the simple innocence of a child. He remembered what I'd forgotten ... what I'd taken for granted after all these years ... Christmas is about Jesus. It's about the day God became man. The day a pure, perfect, innocent life came to this earth to die a horrible, unjust death so that we might live. It's about a man and woman willing to let themselves be used by God to change the world forever. It's about love, people. And peace and hope and charity.

Jesus is still the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas, Clayton. And Happy Birthday, baby Jesus.

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A Tale of Two Wives

Will AMC surprise us?

I’m hopeful they will, but time and again they’ve burst our soap bubbles.

I give the show mad props for what they did right. The initial return of Jesse and Angie was a masterpiece. The promotion and buildup was brilliant. Angie and Jesse’s first sighting of one another at the train station, buttressed by the haunting and very appropriate strains of Alicia Keys’ Like You’ll Never See Me Again, was top-notch. The Hubbard reunion and re-marriage was everything soap fans could have hoped for. However, it seemed that’s where the writers ran out of gas.

It was clear there was a detailed plan in place for the couple’s return to Pine Valley and how it would be accomplished. There was a lot of attention paid to the couple’s history and how it could be tied into the current story arcs – and it showed. There is also, however, a clear indication that what to do beyond the over-the-top soapy reunion wasn’t really a priority; hence, the secret family coming to town to show their munificence in “letting Jesse go”. And in order to accommodate the new Hubbard polygamist sect, something had to give - character and common sense.

The writers had to give up on writing based upon the character’s history and we, the viewers, will have to set aside common sense if we are going to make it through this storyline without screaming the entire time. We’ll have to deal with Angie trying to exercise unbelievable understanding and accommodation by allowing the “other woman” to move into her home and play Wifey #2. We’ll struggle through Natalia treating Angie like the wicked stepmother who is trying to take her poor mama’s place even though she acknowledges knowing it was her mother who was second choice. Frankie will grate on our nerves with the constant flare-ups and childish resentment over daddy spending time with the “other family”. Pout. And we’ll have to deal with Jesse trying to be all things to all people and pissing of everyone as a result. Are you as excited as I am?

Now for the surprise…

Will the writers take a different approach once Rebecca is magically cured? Oh, you don’t seriously think they’ll let her die and have Angie and Jesse rally around Natalia and live happily ever after (until sweeps, that is)? Do you? So, how much do you want to bet that once old Becky is cured she’s going to want a “do over” so that she can have her little family life with Jesse back? After all, she only forced him to leave because she thought she was dying. Once that little roadblock is removed, all of Angie’s sacrifice and understanding won’t mean a thing. What do you think? Will the gloves come off and we’ll have Hubbard vs. Hubbard by February? Or, will the writers surprise us and do something completely different?

What is the next step for the Hubbards?

Rebecca dies. Angie, Jesse and Frankie bring Natalia into the family fold.Rebecca dies. Natalia leaves town while the rest of the Hubbards live happily ever after.Rebecca lives. She and Natalia leave town. The Hubbards move on with their lives.Rebecca lives. She wants her man back and Natalia helps to make it happen.Rebecca lives. They all live happily ever after in the Hubbard family compound.I don't care about the Hubbards, so it doesn't matter who lives or dies.

pollcode.com free poll

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The Zach Zombie

All this talk about missing Kendall has made me realize what I really need ... more Zach! As much as I miss Kendall, and God knows I do, I miss Zach even more.

Not the man we're seeing on our screen. The lost, aimless man who doesn't seem to feel comfortable anywhere. Not the shell of a man who wanders through his life like a ghost. Not the distracted man who stands by numbly while pots like Ryan Lavery call the kettle black. Not the sad man who mopes around his own house, trying desperately (and unsuccessfully) to find five minutes of peace from the family of strangers who have invaded his space. He is lost, clearly. And it is becoming increasingly difficult to watch.

I miss the man who would have reminded Ryan of another person they know who killed their brother ... Jonathan Lavery. Ryan wasn't so quick to want to see him in prison, was he? Maybe Annie just needs to have the bad cut out of her, too.

I miss the man who would have put Bianca and Reese up in the finest suite the casino had to offer. And the man who would have at least asked Bianca what the hell she thought she was doing, showing up in Pine Valley with her due date in sight, without ever bothering to clue the rest of the group in on her little secret. (Look, we all know he would never really yell at Bianca, but the question deserves to be asked, and we deserve to hear the answer. More importantly, we deserve to see him upset about it.)

I miss the man who, during the last coma, sat by his wife's bedside and held her hand. The man who talked to her ... telling secrets and begging her to come home. Now it seems Zach can't get any time alone with Kendall without Bianca showing up with her sad face and the same old question: "How's Kendall?" She's in a coma, Bianca! That's how she is. Don't you think you would have gotten a phone call if she'd suddenly opened her eyes? Do you think he would leave you out of the loop with something that important? Oh wait, new mommy, of course you do. Isn't that exactly what you would have done ... what you did?

I miss the man who would never apologize to Ryan Lavery for doing what he thought was right, no matter the consequences. But this version of Zach - the Zach Zombie, if you will - never stops apologizing to Ryan. It's enough already. He doesn't owe Ryan anything. Zach's mistakes aren't any more significant than anybody else's. Ryan just thinks if he can get Zach to take the blame, somehow that absolves him, but it doesn't work that way. Maybe if Ryan could keep it in his thong, Annie wouldn't have been driven to such extremes to keep him.

Boy, don't get me started on that! This is supposed to be about Zach.

In short, I miss this Zach:

I know he's in there, buried beneath a barrage of baby dramas and near-death experiences. It's been a hell of a year for Team Slater, and the cracks are finally beginning to show. Zach needs Kendall to help him break through the bad stuff and find hope in the good. He needs her to remind him what all the struggle is for. He needs her to wake up and tell him how much she loves him. (He really needs to hear that.) And he needs her to be the one thing he needs most right now ... his best friend. I hope he gets her back soon - make that VERY soon. Because until he does, we'll never get back the Zach we need. He's lost without her, and I'm lost without him.

BTW, kudos to Thorsten Kaye for ripping my heart out every single day. This is in no way meant as a criticism of him. I live for him. If he was a lesser actor, this would be easier to take. But he's so good at tapping into Zach's pain and loneliness, even in a crowded room, that I am literally becoming depressed over fictitious characters.

And now there's a snowstorm and a convenient little cabin. And is Zach tree hunting with his boys? Nope. Maybe little Mimo? Uh-uh. That might actually make sense. No, we get more bonding time with Reese. And of course, more talk about how much he needs to be with Kendall. But when will we get to see that?

Why do the writers hate me so much? Or am I supposed to be enjoying this? GRRRRRR!!!! Calgon ... take me away!

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I'm rooting for Annie

Let me see if I’ve got this straight.

First, Aidan Devane, Pine Valley’s resident private eye, manages to sneak his way into Annie Lavery’s secured hospital room at Oak Haven to…uhh…what?

Get the goods on her and prove she is faking her condition?

Drive her even crazier?

What?

Once he’s successfully in and confronts his target, double-oh-dumbass takes the bait and approaches his unbalanced quarry when she beckons him. Then, our supposedly TRAINED super-spy and spotted dick is overtaken by a slip of a woman in hand-to-hand combat and has to be rescued by the Chief O’Police and his team of Keystone Cops.

What is wrong with this picture?

Have the writers given up all pretense of trying to make this stuff plausible for us? There were plethora of ways Annie could have overtaken Aidan that would have seemed more realistic than her cooing “Come here my little pretty” and then attacking him head-on and nearly strangling him. The man is damn near twice her size and a frickin’ former spy! We're supposed to believe this is the well-connected "go-to" guy with all the training, tricks, and backup Pine Valley would ever need.

Come on, writers! ! Geesh!

Second, Dynamite Dodo and his trusty side kick, the Green Butthead, are so guilt-ridden over driving Annie crazy and hurting poor Fish-‘n-Chips that they keep finding their way to one another, often with little Emma in attendance, just so they can twist that knife a little further.

Yeah, Ryan the “good guy” keeps leaving his crazy-ass wife’s kid with the woman who helped to drive his wife to murder because their paid nanny is conveniently not around. I suppose it would be too much like “the right thing to do” for Ryan to drop Emma off at Slater Daycare, where Bianca and her brood have taken up residence, while he and Greenlee take turn playing selfless and noble.

Yep, I’m definitely rooting for Mrs. Looney Toons. Go get ‘em, Annie!

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You know what I need to know? When is this going to end?!

I've been wondering about this for a while now. Since October, I think. When's it going to end? When is our girl coming back? Sometime soon, I know. If I believe a poster on another board, AM will start filming again in about two weeks, and will show up about three weeks after that. Hey, the poster said she called the studio, and that's what they said. Her inside stuff is as good as anyone else's, right? Right.

And you know, it's not just because of the story. It really isn't. It's not just because I want to Kendall to wake up to save the strong man who is crumbling in agony beside her. No, not that. Ok, maybe a little. It's not just because I am waiting with bated breath to see her awake in all her glory, pull that damm tube out of her mouth and smite her enemies with the sword of her words. Nope. Not that either. It's not just because I miss her like crazy, and the show hasn't been the same without her. Or because everything seems to be put on hold while we wait for the actress to have her well-deserved honeymoon-vacation and return to us rested and ready to recreate the Zen we know and love. Well, ok. It is that a little, too. But it's really something else. Something a little bigger, maybe. Something surprising.

It's because I'm Kendall's bitch, folks. Now, I knew I was Zen's bitch. And I certainly was Zach's. But I never realized that I was Kendall's too.

I pretty much think that says it all, don't you?

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They Don't Trust Us

Production cut-backs. Declining ratings. Budget short falls.

Yeah, the executives of daytime television are using the current economic woes as a way to partially explain away their recently unfavorable casting and schedule changes, the pay-cuts they are enforcing with their staff, and the decreased viewership of their respective shows. However, the truth is that what ails daytime is neither new nor a result of the somewhat recent downturn in our economy.

"But, but...we've been in recession for almost a year!" you exclaim.

True. True. But, fans and critics have been lamenting on the state of their favorite shows for far longer than that. And one theme has been consistent and consistently ignored...

They don't trust us.

The executives. The writers. The powers that be. Those who have the final decision on what plays out on our screens and, to some degree, how it plays out. Gotta give those directors some of the credit, too.

Fans have been clamoring for some "back to the basic" style in our daytime soap operas for quite some time. Soap opera critics have been writing about what hast been truly missing in the genre.

"Where is the romance?" we've asked.

"There needs to be balance," we've lamented.

"Character, character, and character," we've cried.

To no avail.

Instead, we've been treated to one nonsensical story after another where shaky plots often supersede characterization. Character we're invested in are taken off screen or used in a manner that frustrates us, new characters are thrown in to fill the gap and are used so forcefully that it becomes off-putting.

They don't trust us.

Our letters, our phone calls, our email, and our blogs are just background noise in the decision room. On occasion, a token gesture is thrown out in order to keep the faithful few tuned in. No, the real catch, for them, is that elusive demographic who aren't biting because they want what we want...authenticity in their soaps. Young soap watchers become older soap watchers and our needs and wants where our shows are concerned really don't change that much.

Is it too much to ask?

Trust.

Trust fans when we say the violence on our screens is more than we want to see in daytime.

Trust us when we say "real" relationships between realistically written couples is something that appeals to us.

Trust us when we say that substance trumps style and is the only thing that will truly keep us tuning in.

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Want To Party At Con Fusion? Check Your Weapon At The Door!

I used to love Con Fusion. From the first day that Kendall Hart Slater proposed the idea of opening the club as a part of Fusion, I welcomed the idea. Kendall wanted Con Fusion to be a place where the most elegant, fabulous people would make deals and make dates and get things on. I pictured dancing, dining and some hot musical acts stopping by to promote their latest single every February, May, July or November.

The debut party was even promising. Erica was fashionally on time, Zach and Kendall arrived arm in arm, and Amanda got promoted to bar manager. I was even granted one wish when up and coming singer, Rihanna stopped by to sing. Con Fusion was surely the place to be. Only lately, it's not the place to be at all. I'm also not loving it like I used to.

In the 2 1/2 years since the club has been open, it's been the place where, in true soap fashion, Pine Valley's big secrets were revealed. Josh learned he wasn't a Madden but a Martin and a Kane; Greenlee announced to everyone that she was back and didn't exactly forgive and forget; Adam tainted Bella perfume, accidentally drugging his own daughter in the process and Tad first suspected that Jesse's past wasn't as lonely as he made it seem.

Now, in lieu of secrets, the club had been known for violence. In the past 3 months alone, a man was killed and a woman was stabbed. Not just any woman was stabbed, mind you. It was Erica! Erica Kane for goodness sake! Not exactly pleasant party memories, or great fun, yet the citizens of Pine Valley keep going back. They party and drink with hardly any reaction or emotion to these violent events.

So citizens of Pine Valley, the next time you receive an invitation to a Con Fusion party, stay at home or check your weapons at the door.

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My Christmas Wish

Step aside Father Clarence. You won't be needed this year. No tinkling music and sappy, Dickensian miracles. No wishing on a star. No softening of the tough exterior of this year's sacrificial "Scrooge." This holiday season, I have only one wish, and I'm calling on Santa Charles to provide it.




I know, I know. It's too early to start my Christmas Wish list. After all, it's only December 1. Only overachievers and sociopaths are doing any real shopping this early ... at least not for others. But I'm getting a head start so I can give Santa Charles plenty of time to work it out.

What's my wish? Well, I'm glad you asked. Is it world peace? Nope. A fixed economy? Nuh-uh. A pill that makes chocolate a fat burner? Not even that. This year I'm giving my wish to somebody else ... Kendall Hart-Slater.

I want her to open her eyes and find her ruggedly handsome husband sitting by her bedside, waiting anxiously for her to come back to him. I don't want to see Reese there. Or Bianca. Not even Erica. I want Zach ... and only Zach (unless you want to bring the boys in. I'm cool with that.).

I know this event may not be scheduled to happen until after Christmas. But that's okay. I can wait. After all these years, we Zendall fans are getting pretty good at waiting.

That's not too much to ask, is it? I could ask for a new car or a better job, but I didn't. I could ask for more Josh and less Bianca, but I didn't. No, I'm gonna be a "big ole' giver" this year and pass my Christmas genie along to somebody who really needs it. Somebody who is suffering through her second coma in less than three years. Somebody who has two babies at home who have never celebrated Thanksgiving as a complete family. Or Christmas outside the hospital. (Heck, Ian doesn't even get a birthday, but that's a separate blog.)

And how about Zach? Last year at this time he was trapped in a hole. Now he's trapped in hell. A house full of women, but none of them is the right woman. So how about it? How about giving these two crazy kids a bona fide moment to remember? Do it for Team Slater, Santa Charles. Do it for all of us.

And if you want to throw in a couple of choo-choo rides for Kendall, I won't mind.

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Reese Williams: The Enjoli Woman of Pine Valley

Is there nothing this woman cannot do?

She's such a "catch" that Bianca fell head over heels for her and almost immediately wanted to make babies to raise with her.

She's so "compelling" that intensely private Zach began confiding the intimate details of his life to her upon their first meeting.

She's so "dynamic" that a normally cautious Erica threw herself wholeheartedly into wedding planning, without securing a background check.

She's Reese Williams.



And I don't like her.

And it's a damn shame because I love Tamara Braun. She was one of my favorite Carlys on General Hospital and I was so disappointed when she left the show. I was thrilled when she showed up on the short-run sitcom Freddie. So, I am quite perturbed that her All My Children debut has her embroiled in AMC's "2009 Nonsensical Storyline" award winner.

I simply cannot get into the "ground-breaking" aspect of a storyline that has so much wrong with it from the outset. And since the writers have chosen to make the character Reese the catalyst for all of this abnormal behavior from my regular Pine Valley-ites, she bears the weight of all my frustration (although I've got plenty left over for Bianca).

Now, I've learned that I'll have to deal with SuperReese buzzing around Casa de Slater this holiday season acting like a cross between Florence Nightingale and Martha Stewart. Reese must have skipped the "Charm" and splashed on the Enjoli. Yikes!

Some days, around 1 p.m. EST, I envy Kendall her coma.

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