So this is Christmas

So. It's Christmastime. Again. But what does that really mean? Crowded shopping malls? Obligatory office parties? Struggling with tree stands and tangled lights and snowflake garland? Sure, all of that. But what else?

For some people it is a lonely time, but for me it's just the opposite. I never feel more crowded than I do at Christmas. Expectations and rituals abound. Presents to wrap. Candy to make. Carols to sing. I go through the motions, but most of the time my heart isn't really in it.

I guess I've just become one of those cynical people all the holiday movies are made for. It's not that I don't love my family. I do. But I see them ALL THE TIME. And yes, maybe they're not as backward or as annoying as the "hollywood" version. But what ever happened to peace on earth? Where is my peace when I've got twenty people in my living room, leaving me nowhere to sit in my own house? Dishes stacked to the ceiling for me to do after they leave. How much family is too much?

And let me tell you, un-decking the halls isn't nearly as much fun as decking them. Which is why the lights always end up in a tangled mess, only to cause frustration for the next year. Same with the snowflake garland and the busted tree stand.

Maybe my problem is that I just can't get over the sadness that I'm feeling because of Kendall's coma ... and now her failing heart. Yes, I'll admit it. The show has started to affect my mood, even when I'm not watching. I've been crying with Zach all weekend because I just want Kendall to wake up! Not for me anymore, I want it for him.

So I'm bummed out, stressed out, broke and utterly out of the Christmas spirit. Bah, humbug!! And then I stumbled across this picture of my precious little nephew, Clayton ...

... and it reminds me of a conversation we had last year. We were talking about God and he innocently asked me who that was. I told him God was Jesus' father. And he immediately asked, "What's his mother's name?" I hesitated for a second, trying to figure out how to explain omnipotence to a four-year-old. In the end, I just said, "We don't really know about Jesus' mother." To which Clayton replied simply, "Mary."

Out of the mouths of babes, indeed.

So there you have it. The true meaning of Christmas, brought home by the simple innocence of a child. He remembered what I'd forgotten ... what I'd taken for granted after all these years ... Christmas is about Jesus. It's about the day God became man. The day a pure, perfect, innocent life came to this earth to die a horrible, unjust death so that we might live. It's about a man and woman willing to let themselves be used by God to change the world forever. It's about love, people. And peace and hope and charity.

Jesus is still the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas, Clayton. And Happy Birthday, baby Jesus.

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Remembering Myrtle With Zach and Kendall

Today as I watched Zach Slater share his love for his wife Kendall with a stranger, I immediately thought of Myrtle Fargate. A show like today was her signature and it made me miss the red haired spitfire even more. Myrtle always had the right words for Zach at the darkest times and it made me sad to think that she wasn't there for Zach when he needed her most.

As I watched Zach come to the difficult realization that he wouldn't give up on Kendall no matter what, I was reminded how Myrtle is always looking out for Zach. She didn't need to be there for her wisdom and insight was clearly present as he talked.

It gave me comfort to know that Myrtle will never be forgotten and will always be in the minds and hearts of Zach, Kendall, her Pine Valley family and the All My Children viewers.

As Pine Valley prepares to celebrate the life of this remarkable woman, I thought I'd share my favorite moments of Myrtle with Zach and Kendall. It was hard to name just a few as I decided on my list, but I loved loved loved the trip down memory lane. What are your favorite Myrtle moments?

The Woman Loves Me

Zach tells Myrtle that Kendall loves him.

Sometimes We Think We Know Something, But We Know Zip

Myrtle restores Kendall's faith in Zach and her marriage.

It's Happy Hour Somewhere

Myrtle reminds Zach that Kendall loves him passionately. She advices him to grab onto Kendall and not let go.

Who Said Talent Was A Crime?

Myrtle visits the casino and tells Zach to give Kendall to get back to where they were.

Mr. Ian Slater, Meet Your Fairy Godmother

Kendall introduces Myrtle to her and Zach's son Ian on Thanksgiving.

clip credit to willowfriend and favorite moments

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You know what I need to know? When is this going to end?!

I've been wondering about this for a while now. Since October, I think. When's it going to end? When is our girl coming back? Sometime soon, I know. If I believe a poster on another board, AM will start filming again in about two weeks, and will show up about three weeks after that. Hey, the poster said she called the studio, and that's what they said. Her inside stuff is as good as anyone else's, right? Right.

And you know, it's not just because of the story. It really isn't. It's not just because I want to Kendall to wake up to save the strong man who is crumbling in agony beside her. No, not that. Ok, maybe a little. It's not just because I am waiting with bated breath to see her awake in all her glory, pull that damm tube out of her mouth and smite her enemies with the sword of her words. Nope. Not that either. It's not just because I miss her like crazy, and the show hasn't been the same without her. Or because everything seems to be put on hold while we wait for the actress to have her well-deserved honeymoon-vacation and return to us rested and ready to recreate the Zen we know and love. Well, ok. It is that a little, too. But it's really something else. Something a little bigger, maybe. Something surprising.

It's because I'm Kendall's bitch, folks. Now, I knew I was Zen's bitch. And I certainly was Zach's. But I never realized that I was Kendall's too.

I pretty much think that says it all, don't you?

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Want To Party At Con Fusion? Check Your Weapon At The Door!

I used to love Con Fusion. From the first day that Kendall Hart Slater proposed the idea of opening the club as a part of Fusion, I welcomed the idea. Kendall wanted Con Fusion to be a place where the most elegant, fabulous people would make deals and make dates and get things on. I pictured dancing, dining and some hot musical acts stopping by to promote their latest single every February, May, July or November.

The debut party was even promising. Erica was fashionally on time, Zach and Kendall arrived arm in arm, and Amanda got promoted to bar manager. I was even granted one wish when up and coming singer, Rihanna stopped by to sing. Con Fusion was surely the place to be. Only lately, it's not the place to be at all. I'm also not loving it like I used to.

In the 2 1/2 years since the club has been open, it's been the place where, in true soap fashion, Pine Valley's big secrets were revealed. Josh learned he wasn't a Madden but a Martin and a Kane; Greenlee announced to everyone that she was back and didn't exactly forgive and forget; Adam tainted Bella perfume, accidentally drugging his own daughter in the process and Tad first suspected that Jesse's past wasn't as lonely as he made it seem.

Now, in lieu of secrets, the club had been known for violence. In the past 3 months alone, a man was killed and a woman was stabbed. Not just any woman was stabbed, mind you. It was Erica! Erica Kane for goodness sake! Not exactly pleasant party memories, or great fun, yet the citizens of Pine Valley keep going back. They party and drink with hardly any reaction or emotion to these violent events.

So citizens of Pine Valley, the next time you receive an invitation to a Con Fusion party, stay at home or check your weapons at the door.

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