Sorry, Charlie!

It’s clear that Charles Pratt’s definition of a “ground-breaking” lesbian love story and wedding and that of a large swath of the viewing audience could not be further apart if it had been scripted by the AMC writing staff.

The relationship between Bianca and Reese began with the difficult challenge of having the audience accept that the pair, particularly Bianca, had asked Bianca’s brother-in-law to not only father their child…but to keep that information from his wife.

And while Bianca’s loyalty to Kendall has always, in my mind, been a debatable topic, the sheer callousness of Miss Montgomery showing up in Pine Valley unannounced and pregnant wasn’t exactly engineered to endear her to long-time viewers.

So, Charles Pratt decides to up the ante by having Binks wax poetic about the “super cool” partner who was so wonderful, that a normally “cautious around strangers” Zach Slater agreed after a single meeting to father a child for the pair and keep the donation a secret from his wife.

WTF?

We like drama. Okay?!

We get it. But, this nonsensical, plot-driven crapfest was doomed before the first keystroke.

Enter SuperCoolReese. The secret-keeping, former fiancee of a MAN, the recent lesbian who proclaims her love for Bianca to her face, while proclaiming her “feelings” for Zach behind Bianca’s back. Each time she raged about anyone daring to question her commitment to Bianca it just made her that much more intolerable.

Sorry, Charlie.

You definitely created a couple to root for – it’s just that I’m rooting for Bianca’s farce of a marriage crumble before she even leaves the chapel. And I am rooting Kendall to kick her sister’s betraying ass back to Paris. I am also rooting for Bianca to feel the sting of betrayal and pain when she finds out that Reese has been panting after her brother-in-law since she hit town.

And as for SuperCoolReese…I know I’ll be grinning widely when Bianca takes those kids back to Paris, leaving Reese to deal with the aftermath – Pine Valley style. And I can hardly wait for Reese to realize that when the chips are down, Zach will always do what is necessary to keep Kendall.

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So this is Christmas

So. It's Christmastime. Again. But what does that really mean? Crowded shopping malls? Obligatory office parties? Struggling with tree stands and tangled lights and snowflake garland? Sure, all of that. But what else?

For some people it is a lonely time, but for me it's just the opposite. I never feel more crowded than I do at Christmas. Expectations and rituals abound. Presents to wrap. Candy to make. Carols to sing. I go through the motions, but most of the time my heart isn't really in it.

I guess I've just become one of those cynical people all the holiday movies are made for. It's not that I don't love my family. I do. But I see them ALL THE TIME. And yes, maybe they're not as backward or as annoying as the "hollywood" version. But what ever happened to peace on earth? Where is my peace when I've got twenty people in my living room, leaving me nowhere to sit in my own house? Dishes stacked to the ceiling for me to do after they leave. How much family is too much?

And let me tell you, un-decking the halls isn't nearly as much fun as decking them. Which is why the lights always end up in a tangled mess, only to cause frustration for the next year. Same with the snowflake garland and the busted tree stand.

Maybe my problem is that I just can't get over the sadness that I'm feeling because of Kendall's coma ... and now her failing heart. Yes, I'll admit it. The show has started to affect my mood, even when I'm not watching. I've been crying with Zach all weekend because I just want Kendall to wake up! Not for me anymore, I want it for him.

So I'm bummed out, stressed out, broke and utterly out of the Christmas spirit. Bah, humbug!! And then I stumbled across this picture of my precious little nephew, Clayton ...

... and it reminds me of a conversation we had last year. We were talking about God and he innocently asked me who that was. I told him God was Jesus' father. And he immediately asked, "What's his mother's name?" I hesitated for a second, trying to figure out how to explain omnipotence to a four-year-old. In the end, I just said, "We don't really know about Jesus' mother." To which Clayton replied simply, "Mary."

Out of the mouths of babes, indeed.

So there you have it. The true meaning of Christmas, brought home by the simple innocence of a child. He remembered what I'd forgotten ... what I'd taken for granted after all these years ... Christmas is about Jesus. It's about the day God became man. The day a pure, perfect, innocent life came to this earth to die a horrible, unjust death so that we might live. It's about a man and woman willing to let themselves be used by God to change the world forever. It's about love, people. And peace and hope and charity.

Jesus is still the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas, Clayton. And Happy Birthday, baby Jesus.

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Remembering Myrtle With Zach and Kendall

Today as I watched Zach Slater share his love for his wife Kendall with a stranger, I immediately thought of Myrtle Fargate. A show like today was her signature and it made me miss the red haired spitfire even more. Myrtle always had the right words for Zach at the darkest times and it made me sad to think that she wasn't there for Zach when he needed her most.

As I watched Zach come to the difficult realization that he wouldn't give up on Kendall no matter what, I was reminded how Myrtle is always looking out for Zach. She didn't need to be there for her wisdom and insight was clearly present as he talked.

It gave me comfort to know that Myrtle will never be forgotten and will always be in the minds and hearts of Zach, Kendall, her Pine Valley family and the All My Children viewers.

As Pine Valley prepares to celebrate the life of this remarkable woman, I thought I'd share my favorite moments of Myrtle with Zach and Kendall. It was hard to name just a few as I decided on my list, but I loved loved loved the trip down memory lane. What are your favorite Myrtle moments?

The Woman Loves Me

Zach tells Myrtle that Kendall loves him.

Sometimes We Think We Know Something, But We Know Zip

Myrtle restores Kendall's faith in Zach and her marriage.

It's Happy Hour Somewhere

Myrtle reminds Zach that Kendall loves him passionately. She advices him to grab onto Kendall and not let go.

Who Said Talent Was A Crime?

Myrtle visits the casino and tells Zach to give Kendall to get back to where they were.

Mr. Ian Slater, Meet Your Fairy Godmother

Kendall introduces Myrtle to her and Zach's son Ian on Thanksgiving.

clip credit to willowfriend and favorite moments

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The Zach Zombie

All this talk about missing Kendall has made me realize what I really need ... more Zach! As much as I miss Kendall, and God knows I do, I miss Zach even more.

Not the man we're seeing on our screen. The lost, aimless man who doesn't seem to feel comfortable anywhere. Not the shell of a man who wanders through his life like a ghost. Not the distracted man who stands by numbly while pots like Ryan Lavery call the kettle black. Not the sad man who mopes around his own house, trying desperately (and unsuccessfully) to find five minutes of peace from the family of strangers who have invaded his space. He is lost, clearly. And it is becoming increasingly difficult to watch.

I miss the man who would have reminded Ryan of another person they know who killed their brother ... Jonathan Lavery. Ryan wasn't so quick to want to see him in prison, was he? Maybe Annie just needs to have the bad cut out of her, too.

I miss the man who would have put Bianca and Reese up in the finest suite the casino had to offer. And the man who would have at least asked Bianca what the hell she thought she was doing, showing up in Pine Valley with her due date in sight, without ever bothering to clue the rest of the group in on her little secret. (Look, we all know he would never really yell at Bianca, but the question deserves to be asked, and we deserve to hear the answer. More importantly, we deserve to see him upset about it.)

I miss the man who, during the last coma, sat by his wife's bedside and held her hand. The man who talked to her ... telling secrets and begging her to come home. Now it seems Zach can't get any time alone with Kendall without Bianca showing up with her sad face and the same old question: "How's Kendall?" She's in a coma, Bianca! That's how she is. Don't you think you would have gotten a phone call if she'd suddenly opened her eyes? Do you think he would leave you out of the loop with something that important? Oh wait, new mommy, of course you do. Isn't that exactly what you would have done ... what you did?

I miss the man who would never apologize to Ryan Lavery for doing what he thought was right, no matter the consequences. But this version of Zach - the Zach Zombie, if you will - never stops apologizing to Ryan. It's enough already. He doesn't owe Ryan anything. Zach's mistakes aren't any more significant than anybody else's. Ryan just thinks if he can get Zach to take the blame, somehow that absolves him, but it doesn't work that way. Maybe if Ryan could keep it in his thong, Annie wouldn't have been driven to such extremes to keep him.

Boy, don't get me started on that! This is supposed to be about Zach.

In short, I miss this Zach:

I know he's in there, buried beneath a barrage of baby dramas and near-death experiences. It's been a hell of a year for Team Slater, and the cracks are finally beginning to show. Zach needs Kendall to help him break through the bad stuff and find hope in the good. He needs her to remind him what all the struggle is for. He needs her to wake up and tell him how much she loves him. (He really needs to hear that.) And he needs her to be the one thing he needs most right now ... his best friend. I hope he gets her back soon - make that VERY soon. Because until he does, we'll never get back the Zach we need. He's lost without her, and I'm lost without him.

BTW, kudos to Thorsten Kaye for ripping my heart out every single day. This is in no way meant as a criticism of him. I live for him. If he was a lesser actor, this would be easier to take. But he's so good at tapping into Zach's pain and loneliness, even in a crowded room, that I am literally becoming depressed over fictitious characters.

And now there's a snowstorm and a convenient little cabin. And is Zach tree hunting with his boys? Nope. Maybe little Mimo? Uh-uh. That might actually make sense. No, we get more bonding time with Reese. And of course, more talk about how much he needs to be with Kendall. But when will we get to see that?

Why do the writers hate me so much? Or am I supposed to be enjoying this? GRRRRRR!!!! Calgon ... take me away!

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