Well, Shit!

WEEKEND SUDS FLASHES

PLANNING TO LEAVE AMC: Thorsten Kaye (Zach), Alicia Minshew (Kendall), Ray MacDonald (Joe) and David Canary (Adam/Stuart)

Nelson Branco - The Soapgeist: August 17, 2009

I can't say that I'm surprised about Ray MacDonald. But, even a hint of the other three and heaven help us...

Not quite ready to curl up into a ball of misery, with a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, Seal's Loneliest Star playing in the background, and a stack of Zen clips on DVD paying in heavy rotation.

But it's damn close...

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You know what I need to know? When is this going to end?!

I've been wondering about this for a while now. Since October, I think. When's it going to end? When is our girl coming back? Sometime soon, I know. If I believe a poster on another board, AM will start filming again in about two weeks, and will show up about three weeks after that. Hey, the poster said she called the studio, and that's what they said. Her inside stuff is as good as anyone else's, right? Right.

And you know, it's not just because of the story. It really isn't. It's not just because I want to Kendall to wake up to save the strong man who is crumbling in agony beside her. No, not that. Ok, maybe a little. It's not just because I am waiting with bated breath to see her awake in all her glory, pull that damm tube out of her mouth and smite her enemies with the sword of her words. Nope. Not that either. It's not just because I miss her like crazy, and the show hasn't been the same without her. Or because everything seems to be put on hold while we wait for the actress to have her well-deserved honeymoon-vacation and return to us rested and ready to recreate the Zen we know and love. Well, ok. It is that a little, too. But it's really something else. Something a little bigger, maybe. Something surprising.

It's because I'm Kendall's bitch, folks. Now, I knew I was Zen's bitch. And I certainly was Zach's. But I never realized that I was Kendall's too.

I pretty much think that says it all, don't you?

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Want To Party At Con Fusion? Check Your Weapon At The Door!

I used to love Con Fusion. From the first day that Kendall Hart Slater proposed the idea of opening the club as a part of Fusion, I welcomed the idea. Kendall wanted Con Fusion to be a place where the most elegant, fabulous people would make deals and make dates and get things on. I pictured dancing, dining and some hot musical acts stopping by to promote their latest single every February, May, July or November.

The debut party was even promising. Erica was fashionally on time, Zach and Kendall arrived arm in arm, and Amanda got promoted to bar manager. I was even granted one wish when up and coming singer, Rihanna stopped by to sing. Con Fusion was surely the place to be. Only lately, it's not the place to be at all. I'm also not loving it like I used to.

In the 2 1/2 years since the club has been open, it's been the place where, in true soap fashion, Pine Valley's big secrets were revealed. Josh learned he wasn't a Madden but a Martin and a Kane; Greenlee announced to everyone that she was back and didn't exactly forgive and forget; Adam tainted Bella perfume, accidentally drugging his own daughter in the process and Tad first suspected that Jesse's past wasn't as lonely as he made it seem.

Now, in lieu of secrets, the club had been known for violence. In the past 3 months alone, a man was killed and a woman was stabbed. Not just any woman was stabbed, mind you. It was Erica! Erica Kane for goodness sake! Not exactly pleasant party memories, or great fun, yet the citizens of Pine Valley keep going back. They party and drink with hardly any reaction or emotion to these violent events.

So citizens of Pine Valley, the next time you receive an invitation to a Con Fusion party, stay at home or check your weapons at the door.

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